don't you look at me in that tone of voice

October 4th, 2005

09:19 am
today life sucks.
i have my book review... and im going first.
i have two papers due.
i have to rush to an observation during my break.
i am going to work as soon as i get out of class. until close.
and im hungry. grumble.

i want to go home, curl up in the fetal position, and wake up tomorrow.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

attacked

September 28th, 2005

02:01 pm - touch me... its so easy to leave me all alone with the memory
i'm writing again while i wait for marisa... and there is a british guy singing/playing the piano in the other room. i love it.
i wish i didnt have to work tonight, im tired, why did steph have to quit today, why do i have to work tonight, why do i have so much crap to do, why did last night break my heart...............
i am worried about andrea. and matts fingers.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

scared
Current Music: "memory" -as sung by british man

08:45 am - together in that we are both apart
i am tired all the time, i want to fall asleep on this keyboard. my life is insane. etc. but i am going to MONTREAL CANADA with marisa, sarah, and andrea next friday and i am SO EXCITED I COULD PEE.
my school life? insane. busy. insanely busy. this year is horribly hard... lesson plans up the wazoo.
my work life? questionable... hopefully i will be getting a promotion the next time i go in. but who knows.
my love life? i dont have one. i go on a series of scary dates. really scary dates.

time for history with dickie norm.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

contemplative

September 15th, 2005

09:09 am - save the last one for me...
good: the lead brand rep. gave her 2 weeks at work so i might be getting her old job- which would be a nice promotion. : )
bad: my grandpa's in the hospital and is going to have a quadruple bypass tomorrow or the next day... im really scared.
ugly: i was behind a beast that drove 10 miles an hour all the way to school this morning.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

cold

September 6th, 2005

05:54 pm - because of you i can't let anyone else in
today was my first day of school.
school is cool.
i drank my mocha iced latte/ went shopping on my break with marisa/ watched helplessly as class-by-class homework piled up.
now im in my jammies/glasses/ponytail and starting my reading assignments. it starts all over again tomorrow morning. : )

love<3jennie

p.s.- i find it amazing that even though i am a junior in college, i still couldn't sleep last night. jitteryitters.
p.s.s.- my throat is sore. and itchy.
Current Mood:

busy
Current Music: humdedumdedoodle

September 4th, 2005

08:04 pm - out of sight... [going] out of [my] mind
today was a fun-filled family picnic with much eating, baseball, and swinging in the hammock. : )
and tomorrow im going to make time.and.1/2 because its labor day!!! i told my manager to give me open-close (but apparently i have to share hours with other people) so hopefully ill get at least eight.
i am listening to kanye's golddigger and I.LOVE.IT.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

confused
Current Music: "golddigger" -kanye west

August 31st, 2005

10:45 pm - i try to focus my attention but i feel so ADD...
just got home from another 8-hour shift at the LTD2... i guess its blindingly obvious what i have been doing lately. this week i am working one hour less than full time- only because full time for a little part-timer like me would be illegal. i had fun tonight though, surely scaring the new girl with my singing/dancing/general craziness.
anyway, my new favorite song to blast in my car is "sparks"- coldplay. i love it. and it makes me sad and happy at the same time. but mostly sad i guess.
school in 6 days. must.sharpen.pencils.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

blurry

12:04 am - because of you i learned to play on the safe side, so i don't get hurt..
another night at the LTD2. oh joyousness.
im so tired right now that i can't think straight. steph's upset and i just want to hug her and bring her snacks like she did for me when i was upset. why does the world have to be upsidedown? school starts next week which means: more stress and fun=less.
but on a happy note, i bought cutesy outfits (DELIA*S!!) with andrea, sarah, & marisa <3 today and a truck driver (scary to the maximum) appreciated my dance moves.
annnnnd, the four of us are going to canada together!!!!!!!

love<3jennie

[it hurts so much to know what today is. was. could have been]
Current Mood:

exhausted
Current Music: "because of you" -kelly clarkson

August 29th, 2005

11:12 pm - drenched in my pain again
worked an 8 hour shift today. customers were more insane then usual- it must be a full moon. i came home, cried, got on my jammies, and here i am. some days are better than others... today was good for the most part. sometimes i just get overwhelmed i guess. i didn't know that it could be this hard. i didn't know that some of the worst days i would ever have would all come in a row.
tomorrow im going shopping with three of the best girls i know. i can't wait. i need this.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

fairly miserable
Current Music: "wake me up when september ends" greenday

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

August 26th, 2005

12:16 pm - she smells like angels out to smell...
yesterday was really super. craig came over and we went to lunch & saw the 40 year old virgin which was really funny (but not as spectacular as wedding crashers which i saw in NY and loved).
then casey came over and he brought sin city which was an awesome movie. not like anything i had ever seen before... a lot of times i was hiding from the frequent amputations. : )
so toast with butter, sugar, & cinnamin is my new favorite thing. im going to go make some right nowwwww.
!!

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

giggly
Current Music: cars driving by

August 21st, 2005

12:21 am - i love peter the fish with his boobly eyes.
i.am.in.NY!!!!!!!!
: )
amazing moment: singing MJ with steph on the way here (crazy dance moves included, no extra charge) while mrs. elders drove by yelling something at us with her windows closed. i choose to believe she was expressing intense jealousy over our spinny rims.
either way, i love stephanie and i love being here. <3<3<3<3 i may never return. okay, maybe i will. but not for a few days!

<3jennie
Current Mood:

happy and exhausted
Current Music: madagascar playing on the tele

August 16th, 2005

07:54 pm
my real journal: ...this sadness is a 500 lb man tap-dancing on my chest, bruising, overwhelming, slowly destroying me. i want to sleep most of the time, in fact i would love to just sleep right now...

**********************

"faith is the bird that feels the light and sings while the dawn is still dark" -[7-26-05].
i found my answer in an old fortune cookie message. and i will be that bird.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

relaxed

August 14th, 2005

11:13 am - i stood on the edge and saw that you held my hand
i have been under self-imposed exile this past week because i was sick... and other things.
i have become a wild child- i dont wear any makeup, my hair is in a jungle-looking ponytail at all times, i spend most of my time in the pool because its so hot, i have refused to see people besides the ones i live with... okay, i think i have painted that scary picture.
but starting tomorrow i am back into the world. i have to work and i have promised to start seeing my friends again. i can't hide in my house because it doesn't change anything.
there has been an upside to all this, though. i have read a couple of books that i otherwise wouldn't have time for, watched movies that i have been wanting to see, and have spent much quality time with the family.
alright, time to enjoy my last day of doing "nothing"... to do: read, write, go swimming, watch a movie, nap in the hammock... : )

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

everything

August 10th, 2005

04:34 am - ughhh
no human should be awake and online at this hour without a good reason. my reason is i've been throwing up for two hours and i needed a distraction.
i hurt everywhere.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

barfy

August 8th, 2005

04:27 pm - forgive my indecision
i whittled myself a pony out of mahogany in the wee hours of the morn and rode it around for a while today... then i felt sick again.
my pony's in the corner.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

diseased
Current Music: "11 am" -incuibus

August 7th, 2005

09:45 pm - "if anyone speaks badly of you, live so no one believes it..."
i didnt feel good so i slept all last night and all today and missed old navy with the girls :(. now i will be awake all night tonight and i have no idea what to do with myself.
i just might whittle things out of wood and knit sweaters. what other option do i have?

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

awake
Current Music: joe making kissy noises on the phone

August 3rd, 2005

10:21 am - i need you to see this place...
tonight is my mary kay party... i am most excited by the fact that roz called me last night and is coming!!!!! that makes about 12 or 13 girls, plus makeovers, plus cupcakes, plus plus plus. i cant wait! :) :)
anddddd me and joe cracked open the 5lb candy bar he got me last night. yummmmmmm.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

excited
Current Music: "stellar" -incubus

July 27th, 2005

01:32 pm - we're here and now but will we ever be again?
i had two psychotic fits yesterday and broke two items of mine. but i must say that the day improved greatly over spongy pink crackers at the royal chinese buffet. joe is the tranquilizer dart when i am a crazed zoo animal.
so now i am content, surrounded by my various $1 Target items that intensely excited me last night and i have a little african violet blooming in my window.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

too hot for words.
Current Music: jessie being a demon

July 26th, 2005

10:23 am - i don't want to be your fool...
i laid in bed for more than four hours before i fell asleep last night and then bolted awake at 9:00. here i am.
i am reading the time traveler's wife and it is amazing.
i took jessie to see charlie&theblahblahblah yesterday and wasn't that impressed even though i love johnnydepp. i thought he was scary and so were the oompaloompas.
i am really tired. and tired of a lot of things.
i had a 5 minute anger/jealousy fit last night and then got over it. and no one knew.
my tummy feels yucky.
if i dont have to work tonight, im leaving for a few days.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

yucky
Current Music: "the best deceptions" -dbc

July 21st, 2005

11:48 am - i've got a confession to make, im your fool
the beach was a-maz-ing. i overcame my intense fear of the ocean and swam and was demolished by waves and and and... !!!!!! VICTORIOUS!!!! hahahaha. i was reminded yesterday how much fun i have being with those four girls all at once (marisa, steph, andrea, sarah). i was so happy and i can't wait to go again.
i then took my sunburnt self to alli's house for a mary kay party and got all made up and gorgeous. i proceded to spend 60-something bucks on "facial cleanser" and lotion. not sure what that means but i liked the way it felt. oh, and a mascara, too.
okay, so yesterday was magic... i hope today is too.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

content
Current Music: "better man" -pearl jam

July 19th, 2005

08:12 pm - where is my boy tonight, i hope he is a gentleman
TEN Random Things About Me
1. i name all animals peter... from my kittycat to the strange albino squirrel that resides at BPC (i havent seen him yet but i oneday will).
2. i am excited about having an average of 25 children a year. yay for being a teacher.
3. i've been in love once.
4. i've started writing a novel that i promise myself i'll get published in the next few years. im on page four.
5. i don't know how to ride a bike.
6. i want a tree house that i could sleep in sometimes.
7. when i get nervous i touch my collarbone or get itchy. scratching my neck is the first sign im upset.
8. i really hate when people say shutup.
9. i want my house to have a willow tree, a white fence, flowers, a big kitchen, and a library with stained glass windows.
10. my toenails are painted polka-dot.

NINE Ways To Win My Heart
1. knows that doing a big thing (buying something expensive) is just as good as doing a small thing (pulling out my chair).
2. understands my love of desserts.
3. likes the way i draw a zebra even though its hideous.
4. calls me to make sure i got home okay... even if its only 3 miles down the road.
5. is willing to share what they have even if it's their favorite. and understands that no, i will not share my desserts. :)
6. is honest even when it hurts.
7. makes me laugh.
8. can't go a whole day without kissing me.
9. will never hurt me intentionally.

EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. have a family.
2. live in the house i earlier described.
3. win teacher of the year award.
4. publish a novel and a book of my poetry.
5. travel.
6. keep the best friends i have now... forever.
7. witness a miracle.
8. overcome my fears.

SEVEN Ways To Annoy Me
1. chew loudly and talk with your mouth open. yum.
2. drink and drive.
3. swear at me (in anger).
4. hang up on me.
5. lie to me.
6. disrespect someone i love.
7. be arrogant.

SIX Things I Believe In
1. love
2. trust
3. time flies when you're having fun :)
4. a higher power
5. life on uranus... juuuust kidding.
6. chocolates power to soothe.

FIVE Things I'm Afraid Of
1. sharks/big open bodies of shark-housing water
2. getting divorced
3. my family/friends dying
4. loneliness
5. fire

FOUR Favorite Items In My Room
1. my stuffed bunnies
2. my blanket
3. my pictures
4. my books

THREE Things I Do Everyday
1. laugh
2. talk on the phone
3. daydream

TWO Things I Want To Do Right Now
1. put on my betty boop jammies
2. read my book

ONE Person I Want to See Right Now
1. joe
Current Mood:

waiting
Current Music: "grand theft autumn" -fallout boy

10:59 am - fooorget meee, its that simple. forget me, its that simple.
life has been more or less darkness recently... but last night i saw some movies with craig and that was really nice, and tomorrow im going to the beach with my three favorite BPC girls and then to alli's for a MK party. :) today's up in the air but i have some ideas.

1. i miss marisa and she never called me back yesterday and that makes me feel like shizer roasting over an open fire.
2. i want to see honeybunns who has the sweetest little paws/nose/ears in the wholewideworld.
3. last night i dreamt that i had to pee really bad but i wanted to finish reading a stack of sympathy cards i had gotten. i had opened two (both with cartoon dinosaurs on them) before i woke up. and when i woke up i had to pee. but i didn't have any sympathy cards.
4. i just remembered me and momma made pb fudge last night and i need a piece right. now.

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

need fudge
Current Music: mmmmmm fuudge

July 10th, 2005

11:19 am - okay we have marshmallows, peanuts, or... peanuts. i guess thats it.
wonderful news: joe & ben showed up at my door with the cutest little white dwarf bunny in the world. for me. and a cage and food and toys and everything.
bad news: i can't have it at my house.
wonderful news: joe & i forced his mommy to love honeybunns so that she could stay at joe's house. it worked!!!!
bad news: honeybunns loves to poop... andpoopandpoopandpoop.
wonderful news: last night me, joe, steph, and ben went to a drive-in movie. it was awesome and lovely and the four of us sat in the back of joe's truck all snuggled up in blankets.

love<3jennie

p.s.- i love my buns (referring to the bunny of course... although, i must admit mine are nice too) :)
Current Mood:

in love w/honeybunns
Current Music: stephanie on the phone

July 2nd, 2005

12:23 pm - i'm lost in admiration that i need you this much
so content right now... just got out of the shower and about to go shopping/straight to joe's depending on what time i finish getting ready. i've got that wake me up before you go go don't leave me hangin on song in my head and that makes me happy because its from the wedding singer. okay, time to pick out some clothes and head out. :)

love<3jennie
Current Mood:

wonderful
Current Music: 80's music.. who knew?